Mary J. Blige talks about Christina Aguilera’s Attitude Problem

well….

BIONIC 3D TOUR Announcement part 2.

Dear fans, this week has been full of excitement, my announcement set the media on fire causing a lot of commotion as i tend to do, im just such a firecracker *cackels, sips wine* Yes my BIONIC tour is a go! I’m just so very excited and i will not keep you waiting any longer! I am happy to announce the name of my Bionic tour is Da Flop Queen Presents: THA BIONIC TORNADO TOUR - BIONIC RISING!

and as for the constant questions about my tour being in 3D, YES it will be in 3D!!!! THREE DIMENSIONS OF ME! LEGENDTINA! I know you’re all just very excited about this! my assistant has SLAVED away making these hand crafted STATE OF THE ART 3D BIONIC glasses. NO OTHER ARTIST HAS EVER DONE THIS before, i know critics have called this tour “useless” and “completely irrational” but i just love my fans!

BIONIC TOUR DATES COMING SOON!
SET LIST COMING SOON!
GUEST APPEARANCES TO BE CONFIRMED!
merchandise not yet available!

BIONIC 3D TOUR Announcement/PREVIEW!

Dear fans, I’m so excited to announce that my BIONIC tour is finally HERE! My first stop is this January! with my opening act Simon Curtis!

Venues are still being booked as i type, my assistant is frantically making phone calls to stadiums nation wide, ordering merchandise and i’ve been just so very busy in rehearsals deciding which make up gun to bring on the road with me! I’ve got a personal caterer courtesy of tacobell, im leaving my kid with his dad, because you know Concertina is gonna bring it. My vocals are charged and ready for slaughter, i CAN’T wait to blow your eardrums with my beautiful perfect voice/range/octave etc. xoxo see you there!

tickets available exclusively via paypal
must purchase copy of BIONIC at door to enter
no gaga fans
no britney fans
no adele fans
no mandy moore fans
crazed/fanatic Xtina fans are welcome
gays will be seated at all front rows ( xtina loves the gays)
no video cameras/cellphones or reproductions of concert are permitted, fines range $1000-$10000
No moves like jagger requests
Ms. Xtina may at any point to decide to sit through the entire concert and sing acapella
set list may vary/change depending on Ms Xtinas mood
concert may end ubruptly depending on mood swings
NO GAGA
no monsters